Wheels, POM Tea and Gary Cooper's Diction

See that red "wheel," that seemingly plastic confectioner's curl, a shorn lock from some "A.I." meets "Willy Wonka" toy that fell by the wayside because of product liability lawsuits? Yeah, that wheel! Anyway, I am addicted to the stuff. After a long drive to one of the few stores in Los Angeles - on Melrose Avenue, to be exact - that sells these treats, an upscale wine, cigar, candy and gift basket seller, I bought 10 wheels for two dollars and - dear children, did you really believe I had forgotten about the power of subliminal advertising? - an ice cold bottle of POM Tea. "The usual, huh," the clerk said. "Yep," I replied, "Rituals."